Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dear God, I Am Not Angry. Just What Is With All This Waiting?

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me peace in this time of great distress. I always feared that if something bad happened to someone close to me that I would be angry with You and lose sight of the life they led and their faith in You. I no longer have that fear. You have shown me a peace I never thought attainable.

Thank you for keeping myself in a place of strength. Where the depression of the situation isn't so crushing that I cannot take care of my family or myself. Thank you for showing me the positive of this frustrating disorder of mine. Finally there is a use for certain responses at the most inappropriate times. It's helping keep the majority of the tears locked away. It's helping me keep people informed with facts, things done that need to be done. Thank you for helping me keep my head on so I'm not dealing with this by falling apart and screaming and yelling like I once did. But accepting the need for sleep when my body says it's time and just taking a short nap to recharge.

Thank you Lord for the family and friends who keep sending you a flood of prayers for my mom. But Lord, why the wait? You have healing hands. You perform miracles. Why are we left in the limbo of wait? I'm told the more we wait the better the chances of her leaving with a long life ahead of her. It's just patience is not my virtue. I don't see this positive as much solace at this point. I want now! Dang nab it, I want yesterday! I know. How ungrateful I must seem. How can I help it though? You gave me the most precious gift of the best mother anyone could ever have.

Thank You for your love and blessings.

Sincerely,

Me

5 comments:

  1. I can't tell you how many times I was angry with God over the health of my loved ones. I'm 26 and my dad died 16 days ago, but instead of being agry with God for taking him from me I'm grateful. I'm grateful that he gave me 26 years with him. He didn't do what was right for our emotions He did what was right for my dad. He saved him from pain/suffering. I know when things get hard people question "why?" but like I said in my other comments everything happens for a reason. You are my friend and I'll be thinking about you and praying for your mom. *Big Hugs*

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  2. I am so sorry for what you are going through, I cannot even imagine. I wish I could give you a great big hug.
    Praying for peace for you.

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  3. Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm sending you good thoughts.

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