Monday, September 26, 2011

In Limbo. At A Crossroads. Whatever You Call It I Am There.

I'm having a really hard time with things as of late. My maternity leave is up in less than two months. I really am not ready to leave my last baby. Yet, at the same time, I cannot wait to do something besides be around my children all the time. I love them. I just have no me time. I also have nothing that makes me feel like I'm doing something worth while (for myself that is), which puts me in a pretty big funk. Up until last year I worked in fields out of necessity, not because it was something I wanted to do. Then I found my current position. I love my job. The satisfaction I get from it, the money doesn't hurt of course, the people I get to meet. The things I get to learn. I am always learning something new. I really enjoy that. I like things with structure, but for some reason at work I crave things without structure. Then last week I got the news that I need to try and find another position or the other option is being laid off due to a decision they made. I get it. I am not the only one who is thrown this wrench. I just didn't think I'd be sitting right back where I was just when my maternity leave for my daughter was up.

Limbo and I don't work well together. I naturally worry. A lot. So when Limbo and I have to work together, I typically turn into a nutcase. I'm trying to avoid Limbo. I am NOT embracing Limbo at all. There is no fun in this, just a looming clock and it's annoying "tick" "tock", "tick" "tock", over my head. I cannot afford daycare, plus I am the taxi for both hubby and kindergartener. Not that I mind. I actually enjoy this position, it's just that most day and evening jobs don't. I also don't want to work every single weekend. I don't think I should have to give up my weekends with my husband just to make money. Besides birthday parties typically don't work so well during the week. So I need something I can do from home on my time. Not as easy to find as you would think.

I have been given suggestions like home parties. I did Meleluca and Discovery Toys at one point in time. I guarantee you I really suck at sales. Ask me to promote one of my friends stuff and no problem. As me to sell something of my own. Not happening. I have a hard time when it comes to asking people for money. Not sure why. Maybe I need to go to therapy for that one.

Anyways, this is where I am and have been for a couple of weeks now. So what on earth do I do with myself now to make some moolah?

4 comments:

  1. Gosh I'm so sorry about the job, I hate that you found something you love and now you have to find something else, poop on them!!! Fingers crossed you find something soon and if you figure out how to make money, lemme know. My bank account is sad and lonely :)

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  2. Leaving Broderick to go back to work was really hard but I'm 3 weeks into it and I'm doing alright. I use to sell sex toys for Slumber Parties LOL. I made my own hours and actually made some decent money doing it. Just a suggetion haha.

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  3. You certainly need something that makes YOU feel enriched, as an individual. I'm working on that myself actually. You might like my friend V's blog. She's at a bit of a crossroads lately too (not in the same way, but still).

    http://peopleisplace.blogspot.com/

    xoxo

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  4. Aw, so sorry about the place you're in right now. What crappy timing. I agree with not wanting to work weekends...that's family time! Hope something turns up for you :)

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