Monday, August 15, 2011

The Bitch: Kid Play Places in Malls, Oh How I Hate Thee and Other Mall Complaints.

Before I go on, I must post a huge Thank you to The Suniverse Without you I would have posted my crazy dream on couponing. Oh wait, that will come. For now though I need a good bitch. If my bitch isn't enough check out this post here.

I hate Malls. I know, hate is a very strong word. I will gladly throw it around when it comes to Malls. When I go shopping, I'm an in and out person when it comes to Malls unless I go there to get away from my children. Which in that case means, I DON'T TAKE MY CHILDREN. I believe Malls are a place for systematically herding people in like cattle and herding them out. I have been to an IKEA once in Edmonton, besides getting lost trying to get out, I think all Malls should be set up like this. One way in, and one way out. A production line. If you are walking too slow you get cattle prodded by the person behind you. If you want to check something out in that section there is a little door for you to go into the glass cases large enough to hold the product in the center and allow you to walk around the product and back out. You get to be a little slower here to touch if need be. Everything is set on a timer. So make your choice fast so you can grab your ticket and bring it to the cashier on your way out. (Hey I just eliminated the need for people to be hired to restock items that have been "misplaced" by customers) Again, one way in and one way out. Doing this also eliminates things I see in Wal-Mart and other Malls. Inconsiderate arseholes that think their time is more precious than yours and trample you and your children on the way in or out of the store. Scary thing is it happens inside the store too. Production lines eliminate this hazard. They also eliminate a trend that I see so many asking for and that I detest on all levels.

Play places at Malls!

I'm sorry but the last time I checked a Mall wasn't McDonald's or Burger King. There is no need to have play places in Malls. What the hell is wrong with you people?! Okay, I get places like The West Edmonton Mall, with the indoor rides, etc. But you pay for that. You are there watching your own children and possibly being responsible for them. In Malls, parents don't pay attention to their children. I would go as far to say as they will leave their children in there and go to a store nearby. You may deny it. I can't say as I've seen it. But I wouldn't put it past any parent in today's society. As a mom and employee I have seen a lot! These places are loud and cess pools of germs. Hey people, there are parks and kid play places designed for this. One is free, the other is not. Why the hell are you invading my space with your snot nosed, ill-behaved little beasts? I have heard of and seen parents get in shouting matches and physical fights at these play places in Malls. Because one parent isn't watching and their beast child picks on another kid, and the other kid belts him/her back. Gaah. Do you ladies/men really believe that Mall security needs to deal with this crap? They should be spending time keeping real criminals away. Some parents even want there to be babysitting on site at these play places so they can go shopping without their children. I am completely confused by this. Here is a thought, get your own babysitter, leave your child at home where they are comfortable and not bugging me and go shopping by yourself. Now if that isn't quite the dandy concept I'm not sure what is. Here is an even better thought. You wanted to be a parent, so parent. That means you take your kids to the Malls with you and pay attention and watch them yourself. Teach them to behave like civilized people. I didn't have play areas when I was a kid and I survived. Yes, I was bored and hated going with my parents. But so what? My parents also taught me I cannot have whatever I want when I want and life is NOT fair.

Besides the Mall is zoo-like enough, do we really need to bring in the three ring circus?


  1. Love it! First time I read anything on your blog!!! Too funny and 100% true!!!

  2. BAaaaahaaaaahaaaa. You took the words right out of my mouth. Unsupervised Children are my nemesis!!! My favorite are the kids that play hide and seek in a freaking Sears and are running all over the place, damn near trampling my 2 year old toddler (who was behaving better than these pre-teens). Let's just say my sharp mommy tongue told them to get the hell on their way :) I also hate malls!

  3. I love your idea for Ikea-style shopping in all malls. GENIUS.

  4. Cattle prodded! hahahahaha Excellent idea.


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