Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mary, How Does Your Garden Grow?

Mary, Mary quite contrary

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row.

There is a lot of controversy over which Mary this poem is after and the manner in which she grew her "garden". As you can see there is no controversy over how my children grow their garden.

How does your garden grow?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Winnipeggers Support Your Local Business Woman/Man ~ Covet Designs

Winnipeggers who love to support their local business people this post is for you!  Those who love beautiful things, this is for you too!

Last week I had to take my youngest in to the children's hospital to get an EEG done, and while waiting my mother and I had the chance to check out a few venders inside the corridor of the main hospital the Health Sciences Center.  We saw a few, but three caught my eye.  One didn't have a website.  I bought a ring from another. Then I came upon one and I wanted all the bracelets and necklaces she had. I asked if she had a website and was pleased to hear she did!  Plus I was given a business card.  As my mother and I were about to leave, the owner of Covet Designs , Tannis Wilson came over and we had a lovely conversation.

Covet Designs

I absolutely love her necklaces, and quite honestly her website doesn't do it justice.  You will find a few samplings of what she has on display.  However, to see the true beauty of all her pieces you NEED to find out where she is and get there and take a gander.  She is also really personable and nice to talk to.  Which, when it comes to purchasing a product (at least for me), is very important.

Unfortunately, right now since my children are so small if I buy a necklace they will rip it from my neck.  The bracelet would end up in pieces on the floor. (My daughter can break anything)  So I didn't buy anything that day.  I wanted to so badly.  So, because I can't support my local business by buying their product (at the moment.  I WILL find something I can wear), I figured the next best thing was spread the word about the awesomeness that is Covet Designs.

On her page Tannis has a listing for the year of where she will be selling her local wares.  So you will never be wondering where you can find her next.  If for some reason you cannot make it out to even one of those places, Tannis also has several retail outlets that carry her designs.


Great Finds (Southdale Shopping Centre)
Artifacts (Johnson Terminal at The Forks)
Cozy Cuts (1749 Ness Ave)

Covet Designs can also be found in eight different retail outlets from British Columbia to Ontario.  There are two locations outside Canada in North Dakota as well.

So really, in the grand scheme of things there is no reason NOT to support local when there are many ways available.  If you are not into jewelery, I guarantee you know someone who does.  These pieces of art make fabulous gifts.

(Disclaimer: I have not received any payment or product for my promotion of this local business.  I did this because I believe in the product I had seen and believe in supporting businesses in my community.)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Early Morning Mind Wanderers June 25, 2011 (The Not Early Morning Addition)

Cornered by my thoughts

Tumbling over and over

Unsure of which way to turn

There is no distinct direction in which to take

The anxiety cradles me like a swaddled newborn

I'm frustrated by the way it tricks me

Mind and body

Some days I cannot tell dream from reality

Some nights my dreams don't know they are dreams

My dreams are even searching for something

What am I forgetting?

What could I possibly be missing that I need to know?

Too much chaos in my head is leaving me exhausted

Again all I want to do is sleep

Yet, again, sleep has become the enemy

Sleep is where everything comes alive

Where the busy-ness of my life ends and the busy-ness of who I am begins.

Friday, June 24, 2011

"What I Love About Me" Blog Hop

So I am linking up with the "What I Love About Me" Blog Hop hosted by Twins Plus One, Three Times The Fun and Twingle Mommy! Each of these lovely ladies has the link up and the guidelines on their page.


So what do I love about me?

I love that I really enjoy putting my kids to bed.  I mean, yes, what worn out mommy wouldn't enjoy putting their children to bed.  For me though it's the few moments I get them alone.  As much as I want to dash down the stairs and enjoy some me time.  I love that I love taking the time to do individual bedtimes.

 I put my daughter down first, sometimes I sing some silly songs or just read a book.  Occassionally we talk about something that happened that day.  And we almost always say "Good night Moon.  Good night Stars.  Good night Everybody."  For my son, he gets his own time with me reading a book, sometimes I sing it.  Then we talk about  something in his day.

We are always crammed together with noise and every one wanting something.  Lots of pushing and pulling.  I love that I am creating this small moment with my kids.  It means I'm pushing past my wants and giving them something special that they will hopefully pass on to their Littles.

I miss that time with my teen.  But rest assured he got this special mommy time too :D

Snub Etiquette (a.k.a. You Would Know If I Snubbed You)

Oh life, how wonderful you can be. You turn a sober day into a very laughable one. It was a pretty good day. It was warm and beautiful. L had his EEG today. I had to keep him awake until it was time to do whatever it is they do. So my mom had come along to keep him awake in the car. Oh he was so mad. (chuckle) While we waited we went to the venders and bought some things. Chatted with another cool lady, then returned to see if all was well with the babe.

Then it happened. Someone from my past walked by. I didn't recognize them at first. As they walked by they smiled, I smiled back and then I realized who I was smiling at. I watched as they continued down the hall and around the corner. I thought to myself, darn if I knew who it was I would have ignored them.

Later that day I found out that they have been going around saying I snubbed them.

Here is some Snub Etiquette for you:

**** In order to recieve a snub you would have to do something like stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Threaten a person's future employment or threaten to have their children removed from them. I'm sure there are more but three is a good start ****

If you are not sure how to recognize a legitimate snub here are some scenarios:

(Scenario 1) You smile at a person.

Non-snub: the person smiles back as you walk by.

Snub: the person looks at you straight in the eye. Clenches jaw, glares directly at you and turns their back on you ensuring you see the snub.

(Scenario 2) You wave at a person.

Non-snub: they smile and wave back

Snub: they flip you the bird and mouth obscenities.

(Scenario 3) You approach the person and say "Hello".

Non-snub: they say hi, smile, maybe a hug and engage you in pleasant heart warming conversation.

Snub: they can chose either of the scenario's above or my favorite, tell you exactly where to go.

The great thing about this last scenario is that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY for one to mistake the snub for exactly what it is.

So please, let me set the record straight. If I snubbed you I would have looked at you in the face, then turned my back on you with intent. You would not see a smile on my face or any acknowledgemet other than a cold hard look that says, "*censored*". If you then attempted contact I would jump straight to scenario 3, no holds barred. Because that's how I roll. Next time, approach me, then you'll be telling the truth when you cry "snub!"

*Side note* I totally laughed about this situation when I heard about it. Here I was worried i had nothing to post about.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Hope For Carsen

Hello Friends of the Blogoshpere this is my friend Carsen,

I have known Carsen since she was born. Carsen's Mom, Amanda, and I met on a Mom's forum when we were pregnant with our Little's. I have never met Amanda in person. She lives in the United States and I am up here in Canada. It doesn't mean that I couldn't tell what an awesome mommy she would make in the very near future. As a group we spent months gushing over our impending births with each other. Celebrating the first birth to the last. Now as mothers we celebrate each milestone of our Little's with gusto. We just had our first crawler a few weeks ago. (How exciting!)

It became clear as time went on that Carsen was different than all the other babies in our blessed little group. At two months old Carsen was diagnosed with Optic Nerve Hypoplasia (ONH). This came after two hospital stays and many blood tests.

ONH is a medical condition that results in the underdevelopment or absense of the optic nerve(s) combined with possible brain and endocrine abnormalities. ONH is also known as de Morsier's Syndrome or septo-optic displasia and is the SINGLE leading cause of blindness and visual impairment in children. The abnormalities caused by ONH can be minor with no noticable abnormailies or it can be quite severe. Areas that can be affected are gross and fine motor skills, intelligence, speech, social interactions. In some cases these children can also have seizures. Another affect of Optic Nerve Hypoplasia is that it can effect the development of the pituitary gland. This gland is the master controller of the body. It makes and directs important hormones required for growth, energy control and sexual developement. When the pituitary gland doesn't make the hormones correctly it's called hypopituitarism. This further affects the thyroid and the production of cortisol as the pituitary gland signals the adrenal glands to produce cortisal. Cortisol is needed in times of physical and emotional stress. Something as simple as getting a cold can send a child with this abnormaility into distress, cause the body to shut down and has led to death. On top of all of this you can have developmental problems with the sex hormones, low blood sugar and if the body is producing too much ADH which causes the body to produce too much urine, the child can end up with urinary tract infections. Just one other thing that will affect the cortisol levels. Carsen has mental disabilities, hypopituitarism and central diabetes insipidus as well. She is currently on four medications for her hormones, and a special diluted formula for the diabetes.

Amanda's pregnancy dreams and future wishes for her daughter seemed to disappear into thin air overnight. She was at a loss on what to do or where to turn. And this is where my post "Hope For Carsen" comes in to play.

Amanda had done a lot of research on her daughters condition and of course went on a desperate search for a cure. There is no real cure for Carsen. Not yet anyways. Amanda has found the next best thing. Stem Cell Therapy being done in China. The stem cell therapy is touted to help the patient obtain more of their eyesight. The cost is steep and insurance doesn't cover the costs. Now Amanda is reaching out to those she knows in hopes of finding a way to give her daughter more of a comfortable future than she currently is facing.

Amanda's hope for Carsen in her own words:

"We were devestated when we found out. She is our first child. Carsen is also deaf in her right ear, so she is struggling to learn against all odds. Just knowing that there is a possible cure for her vision is just the hope my husband and I need for Carsen's future. She just deserves this. After everything going against her, I feel that gaining vision with be the silver lining in her life journey. They say 90% of your learning comes from your vision. So with no vision accompanied with one deaf ear and mental disabilities, it is extremely scary to think about the future. And of course selfishly I just want her to see me. Her Mommy. To be able to tell my apart from other people. I want her to cry when she sees me leave the room. I want her to some day reach out for me. I want the world for her and I can't give her that. But I CAN dedicate my life to making her the best she can be. And that is what I will do."


To be able to get to China for this therapy Amanda and Carsen need your help. One of the avenues we have been considering going is making a plea to The Ellen DeGeneres Show. We know that Ellen has helped many in their plights, and we feel that Ellen would be one of the best chances Amanda and Carsen have to get them that much closer to Amanda's dream of having her first born see her. Even if it's just a little. We need you to help us get our plea of Hope for Carsen to Ellen Degeneres. Linked below is The Ellen Degeneres Show FB Page, as well as her twitter account.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show FB Page
Ellen DeGeners Twitter Account

These last two links provide more information on Optic Nerve Hypoplasia as well as just one of the stories you will find on the ONH Stem Cell Therapy site

ONH Booklet

Hope For Hallie

Please, if you do nothing else today. Pass this plea on to The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Help Carsen have the chance at sight. Our Mom's group will be doing just this. For Carsen.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to finish this post.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday, You Feel Like Monday.

Dear Friday,

Just in case you are interested. Even if you are not. I am not pleased with you today. You came up on me way too fast. You started at Midnight and kept my husband up all night. At 7am he was forced to wake me from a much needed sleep and ask me to drive him to work. At 7:15am my cell phone rang with my teen asking if my husband left his lunch at home. Friday you know darn well that it was too late to turn around and retreive that lunch. I gave my lunch money to him.

The drive back home was slow and tiring. Once home I found two toddlers up and lazing on the couch. The teen was on his computer answering email? Really? The most I ever did in the mornings was lie around in my clothes until I HAD to drag myself to school. Friday, emails are NOT to be read before school.

The teen then asked me how to reply to the email. What? Are we NOT in the age where even the dog gets their own twitter account? My teen refuses to let me see his email so that I can show him how to do it. He wants me to just tell him. Sorry kid, I need to see what I am doing. Walk myself through it at the same time I'm explaining it. For computers and a few other things, that is how my brain works. I grabbed the computer and showed him. It was an email from his Dad. From his home business that he has told the judge in countless court appearances that he doesn't make any money with. (Sorry you lying fak, I'm not stupid. I just have no way to prove how much you make. Don't care anymore. Enjoy your LEGAL DEADBEAT DAD status. I only have four more years of this bullshit and I can finally be done with your sorry arse) Friday, see now look at what you have done. There are other things I can go on a tangent about and you find this. To top it off. The teen got mad at me because I took his computer and showed him as opposed to telling him. He told me that other people can just tell him and pretty much insulted my intelligence. Friday, you are an arsehole for reminding me how spoiled, ungrateful and snotty teens are. Well Friday, here's one back at you. He asked me for further help and I told him to figure it out by himself. Also, both you and teen forgot that I have access to teens email account. I can read what I want, when I want. Also I am married to the ruler of access to the internet connection. If I say to cut off access, the ruler will grant this Queens wish. So stuff that in your pipe and smoke it.

Friday, I am tired of being made to feel like my sole purpose in life is to ruin my children's. Especially since I ALWAYS put their needs first and ALWAYS put mine second. I'm tired of living my life around a now ungrateful teen. I'm tired of being afraid that my ex (I think it's interesting that out of all my past relationships he is the only one I call my ex. The other's I call old boyfriends), will take me to court and attempt to use anything and everything against me to take the child that I have spent 13 years nursing through fevers and colds. That I've clothed, fed and spent countless hours driving him to and from Cadets and sewing on badges. Gone to school to fight for him over bullying and other things. I'm tired of living under an old threat. Friday, on second thought maybe this morning was good for me. Today I'm throwing caution to the wind and taking my life back. Today I'm becoming the parent I want to be and putting my foot down. Today my teen is no longer dictating how I run my life. Today my teen is going to be put in his place of child instead of equal partner. Where my husband is supposed to be. Friday, you are still an arsehole. But upon further reflection I apparently needed arsehole in my life today. For that I thank you.

Friday, just one more thing. Don't do this again. Currently Friday, you feel like Monday. If this happens again you and I CANNOT continue to be friends.



Thursday, June 16, 2011

Five Point Harnesses Cannot Contain This Mini Houdini

I am at my wits end! I curse safety, seatbelts and most of all carseats! You all suck! You are the epitomy of suckage! How dare safety be so important in this day and age! Look at all of us children who survived babyhood in the "safety" of our Mother's laps in the front passenger seat of our parents "Road Boats". (My first car to take driving lessons in was my Dad's Catalina. It WAS a boat) We didn't have carseats. We didn't even have seatbelts for a bit. Then, they decided we needed the lap belt. Our feet dangled over the seats in freedom, mocking our pinned down thighs with bursts of untethered movement. Then came the belts that crossed over your shoulders as well because they were deemed "safer". Who cares if they dug into your precious necks. They fixed that alright. They didn't feel baby carseats were going far enough. They had to bring in toddler seats with the five point harness. Damn you safety freaks!

Okay, now before I get a ton of "hate" comments telling me what a horrible parent I am. I use these seats, but I strongly dislike them. I don't think they are safe. They definitely did NOT take into account my Mini Houdini when designing these five point harnesses.

This carseat is very similar to the one my daughter is in. It is an Eddie Bauer. The culprit is the piece that clips the shoulder straps together and slides up across the chest. That piece is a literal piece of crap. The straps that go across my child's legs snaps into a giant piece of metal. Even I have a hard time getting that part unbuckled. She has tried and cannot undo it on her own. So why the hell do these companies make a piece within their reach that you can pull apart with very little force at all. You do not even have to press the clip to unlatch it. Seriously, how safe is this? If my Mini Houdini can unbuckle herself and get out of part of her "life saving" harness how is it keeping her safe in an accident at high speeds?

Oh right, I'm the Mother and I should be making sure she stays buckled in. Well hello arsehole who designed these small pieces of junk that spell death trap and toy for Mini Houdini. When you can drive AND be in the back seat of a vehicle keeping a death grip on the five point harness let me know. I haven't acquired that talent yet. I'm too busy with my eyes on the road keeping us OUT of an accident. I currently tie a green garbage bag just above the harness clip.

Oh yeah, and put it tighter? Mini Houdini is a contortionist. Been there. Done that. Own three or four t-shirts.

So yeah, to the "Safety Nazi" and the carseat companies. Give me something that will keep my kid in the carseat! Or shut up and let me raise my child in the same non-bubble world I once had the pleasure of walking barefoot down the street in.

****Seriously though. The whole garbage tie is getting old and it's a pain in the arse. Not to mention not safe around my daughter. Mini Houdini was so ticked off over it the other day she tried gnawing it off. No shit!*****

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Hmmmm... Tired Of The Same Old And Looking For Change

Well it's no secret to all that live with me, I don't like things staying the same for long. Similar maybe, but not the same forever. when I was little my mom moved the furniture all. the. time. She still tells the story of the day my Dad came home from work and went to sit in his favorite recliner (you know the stereotypical bulky black chair with the duct tape on the arm), only to fall on the floor where his chair once was. After that, my Dad made sure to survey his surroundings each time he came in the house.

I caught the moving bug and would change my room around constantly. When I moved into my own apartment as a single mom, things changed monthly, sometimes weekly. I loved it. I changed things around with the seasons, the weather and my mood. Then I met my husband and got married. The moving bug is still there, I'm just NOT allowed to utilize it with my furniture anymore. There is a reason for it. It's not like he also tells me what to wear. My husband has Optic Nerve Hypoplasia (ONH). His vision is 200/20. This means that even the coffee table being out an inch he is walking into it. Love him to death, but his disability is cramping my need to control portions of my environment. I NEED to change something. Seeing as I'm too stressed and busy from raising a brood of four, my blog seems like the most natural place to do it.

I see all these cool banners on the blogs I'm visiting. Like 3 Pink Cupcakes Here. Girlfriends are like shoes Here. Another one is Coffee Loving Mom here. As well as Tales of a Ranting Ginger here.

There are many many more. They have their own personality. My blog has bloggers personality. Sure, I picked the picture in the background, it's just not the same. This is will mark the second time I change my background. If I do. Which I deperately want to. I just don't know where on earth these ladies got their awesome blog banners from. If they did it themselves or through a free program.

Please fellow bloggers help this control freak control the only place she has left in her whole universe to control. I'd beg on hands and knees, but too many of you have dirty minds and it would just look wrong (takes a dirty mind to know one ;D )

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A Post By Any Other....Oh I'm Sorry. What Was I Saying?

Nope, not alzheimers. My bloggy friend(insert losing brownies here) was feeling a bit like a bad blogger for not posting a lot or reading/commenting on her blog list. I feel where she is coming from. So I thought I'd give you all a post of what it looks like before all the edits. My draft pile has become large, but still managable. The draft pile is there because I am often starting posts but then a child in a dire (non-bloody) emergency tears me from any thought process outside the "mommy zone". So, if I decided to begin a blog and continue after pulling my pre-k and toddler apart. After the baby finishes yelling at my boob. Don't ask, it's apparently a nursing thing. And after the millionth telling of the teen he missed something with his chore duty.

Hope you enjoy:

(Intermission #1: going to bed for the night)

I looked a "Gift Horse" in the mouth the other day. Darn it, my Papa was right. They do bite. Hard! Lucky for me this "Gift Horse" was willing to forgive me after my daring gander into his bright white teeth. So, I took the second chance and stole quickly out of the house to go grocery shopping by myself. That is right. No telling A to "stay by Mommy" and "don't touch that". No telling E to stop antagonizing his sister. No baby L in a wrap he doesn't like because he cannot possibly see and manouver in every direction imaginable. (Usually up, down and sideways. I think he throws a zig and a zag in there too.) The store was the usual zoo on a Saturday. I still say I got ripped off though. The lines were unusually short. Why are they only long when I have three impatient children with me? Occassionally four? Regardless it was still heaven. Thank you "Gift Horse"! (a.k.a Hubby)

(Intermission #2: going to feed L breaky)

I need to write a post. The children are asleep and I have nothing that wants to spill out on to the page, er computer screen. My day was absolutely boring. I cleaned the main bathroom, threw in another load of laundry, washed the floors on the main floor and dashed out the door to pay for the transfer of their medical files to the new pediatrician. Which reminds me why the heck do I have to pay for the transfer of files when I have to find a new pediatrician because he's leaving the province to go work closer to his family? It wasn't my choice. I liked my pediatrician. Oh well, gift horse looking again as the receptionist thankfully let me pay half of the $80 it would have cost me. Can you believe it's $20.00 per file transfer? I'm glad they accepted $10.00 per file transfer, much more reasonable. Then we drove home and I watched the kids eat lunch and go batty around my home before I had enough and put them to bed. I still have to get their birth certificates. Well three of them. That's $75.00 a pop. Okay, now I'm just depressing myself and I have to go cook supper. Supper never tastes good when I'm sad.

(Intermission #3: going to find something to make for supper)

I am a procrastinator. It never fails I will suck every last second out of an hour to have a few moments to myself and feel like I do more than clean and take care of children. That I. am. my. own. person. (yeah that self affirmation does shit too) True to fashion, I did not go find something for dinner. I played around on Facebook a little bit. Then I thought I should finish this post as I didn't think I would get to it. Now L is up and there are wild animals in my house. Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, OH MY!

So this is it. What things in my head and my draft pile look like on a daily basis. If you notice even from the introduction, I didn't make too much sense. I purposely didn't change it, even though I am getting hives from wanting to. I'm not because it would defeat the point of this post.

Here is the bloggy friend I didn't insert. Losing Brownies. Let her know she's awesome even if she doesn't blog every day or comment all the time.

Monday, June 13, 2011

It All Begins To Wind Down Before It Throws You A Sucker Punch

Phew! Where on earth did this year go? Last summer was all about getting C ready for his last year of junior high school and through his first year of Cadet camp. Him being three provinces away was harder on me than him I'm sure. Two weeks away and he appeared to come back older, stronger, and a little bit snottier. (The last part, could simply just be age) E was being prepped for preschool. We HAD to get him potty trained before preschool. Just weeks before entering into pre-K our baby finally became consistent and joined the rank "Big Boy". He has grown leaps and bounds through REFENS . His teacher is phenomenal and I feel very blessed that I was guided to her door through a dear co-worker. Kids just flock to this teacher. My A is mesmerized by her. I cannot wait to enroll her next year. (This coming year is too soon for my little hurricane.)

Cadets held their annual windup yesterday. Showing off their unit to the parents. The drill team did awesome! Many won medals, plaques and mentions. C looked like such a young man in his uniform. I was one proud Mamma! One more day of Cadets and C is on stand-by until he leaves for camp again, for three weeks this time. I think the hardest this year will be for my E who looks up to his big brother.

E has about four more days of preschool. I'm an emotional mess. I think I've become more attached to his teacher than he has. He has learned some French and can sing our whole National Anthem in French. Bravo! We have gone to the last two turn outs with the preschool. The Farm and Kidsfest. The final is a little do at the preschool next week. Because they are located in a school, they begin the year a week after school begins and end a week earlier than school ends. E's soccer also ends in about four weeks time.

No more hustle and bustle for us. Lazy days from here on in. Not really. They are used to the chaos and want more, so I'll have to get inventive. (the sucker punch) However, there will be no rush unless I say so. No more interrupted naps, unless I've planned them. If we're lucky, less rain and more sunshine to ride our bikes in.

For me, hopefully this means time for the projects jossling in my head and more time to read the blogs on my list that I haven't had time for in the last two weeks.

I hope you all have a glorious summer!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

You Talking To Me? Well Stop Talking And Get Your Booty Over Here!

Yes. I did a lot of thinking last night. My children consume me. They have a way of sucking all mental and physical energy out of you. While I wouldn't change my life for the world. Some part of my day needs a little less suckage. Just think the scene in "Vampires Suck", where Edward sucks the venom out of Becca using a straw and her whole body deflates. Yeah, that is me at the end of the day. Surprised I can still walk or talk for that matter. (This is probably why I call everyone in this house by the wrong name.) In my thinking I realized that I totally feel used and abused. My family asked everything of me and I'm always giving. Sure, I get back in hugs and eye rolls. Hubby gives back in making dinner and helping with some chores. I just don't feel like I get back in the way that I really want. So I really needed to sit down and figure out what I wanted. What on earth was going to make me feel less overwhelmed. Less resentful. Less distant, disconnected and unloved. Well, giving to every body would be so much easier if I got back. I love food, and I hate housework. The reality is though hubby doing these things for me doesn't make me feel better or more energized at all. I wanted to feel taken care of like I take care of every one else. (Angels sang here)

Tonight, I put the toddlers to bed on time. I put the laptop down. Then hubby, my eldest and I sat down to watch Iron Man 2 on Netflix. I did not touch the computer or do anything besides nurse and rock the baby the whole time. (This is a feat. The laptop and I are attached at the hip. It's my survival line outside kiddie chatter.) By the movies end, all children but the eldest were finally asleep. It was only 10pm. Yay! By 10:30pm all were in their rooms asleep. Hubby and I were going to get some time together. I couldn't believe it. We enjoyed the rest of our evening talking about things. I told him that I needed him to take care of me like I take care of him and the kids. While him cooking dinner is nice, as he's a way better cook than I, I really felt that him just taking care of me. I also mentioned that this was what I needed. Us, just chilling together. No one else interrupting, or calling "Mommy". He could cook me a million dinners, wash a thousand washrooms, or do a hundred loads of laundry and nothing could make me feel as awesome and whole as I did right in that moment with him.

I know it'll be at least another six months before we can get a decent "date night" together away, truly just the two of us. Yet, if we could manage to get a couple of good evenings with just the two of us. I really could see us getting closer and both feeling less overwhelmed and more full of the love we do have for each other.

(Good thing I figured this out and he agreed. I was becoming and icecream - aholic. Can't drink Vodka while nursing, it is my only prefered alternative.)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Early Morning Mind Wanderers June 10, 2011

Where do I fit in?

Everything I have is for you. For them.

Stretched. Pulled in a million directions.

Laundry piles to the ceiling.

Dishes teetering, willing to tumble and crash.

Bathroom dirt that scares the boogey man.

Backyard missing the tombstone to finish "the look".

Vehicle that begs to be bathed as often as the children.

Front yard that decieves the world of the chaos within.

My time is limited and I feel chronically overwhelmed.

Pushed to my breaking point from the moment I wake to the moment I pass out.

Almost every day naptime and bedtime are a blessing, every thing in between a curse.

I know I'm blessed, but I can't catch my breath.

I need some time away, to read, to run, to work on me.

Each day is more of a struggle than the last.

I try to tell myself and believe, "This too shall pass".

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Chaotic But Never Dull

My life is incredibly chaotic. I love my family, I don't love the busy-ness that comes with them. I don't do flexible. I don't know why. I have to have everything planned out. No one is allowed to deviate from the plan, unless it is me deviating from the plan. I prepare for such deviations an hour or two in advance. (in my mind. For them it's last minuts)

Monday, I was Preschool Helper at my son's preschool. It's my last day for the year. Bittersweet. (Don't mind me, the tears are only glistening.) My son has only 5 more days of preschool left and next year is Kindergarten. The last five years went somewhere. I'm not sure where.

Anyways, I was trying to get things ready. I fed the kids and got the bags together. While they were eating I went outside to water my cedars. (yes, they are finally all in.) That was my first mistake. The children asked to play outside. Of course I said fine. I began to pump another 2.5oz this morning, during this time, my children stripped to their skivvies. (For A that meant her birthday suit.) They screamed and ran around the backyard spraying each other with the hose. Infuriating! Normally, I could care less, but this was not the time to be barefoot and fancy free. Or in my children's case naked! (E thankfully kept his underwear on)

I coralled them in the house and got them dressed in new clothes, promising lots of water fun later. I fed them lunch and proceeded to finish pumping. They finished and played with their toys. Suddenly E peaks around the corner and says,

"Mom, I'm going to Mexico!"

"A is not coming!"

He walks away and babbles. Then comes back in and says,

"A can go to Playhouse Disney. I'm going to Mexico!"

I think I might have peed myself laughing. Where does this kid come up with this stuff?

E is sweet too. We had to stop off at the grocery store to pick up juice and buns before preschool. On our way out he says,

"Here Mom. Let me open the door for you." He runs ahead and stands in front of the door so it opens for me. Waits until I walk through and does the same with the second door.

That night I watered both the cedars and my kids. I also got the oldest when he wasn't expecting it.

The day before just after I finished planting the cedar at the front of the house, I did something to it and said, "Poor Baby." C pipes up and says,

"Oh that's nice you love the tree more than me."

"Um, yeah, sure. lol" I chuckled back.

"Maybe you'll pay attention to L more if I plant him." He was just upset because I asked him to hold L so I could plant the tree and be done with all this stuff.

I think he's on to something though. Could you imagine how easy it would be to take care of these children if all we had to do was stick them in the ground and water them twice a day? Sometimes sing to or talk to them.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Shitionary Sunday @ Snappy Surprise!

Shitionary Sunday

It's that time again folks! As noted by the link above. I'm working on a special post, but I didn't want you to forget about little ol' me. And heck, this gives me a chance to pimp out my wacky friend and have more people enjoy a good ol' fashion game with a twist. Try Shitionary on for size. I guarantee you won't be disappointed :D

Much Lurve for you all.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Don't Try This At Home Boys and Girls

It is positively miserable out there Thursday. It didn't start off this way. It was gorgeous, warm and sunny. I of course was stuck inside trying to put my baby to sleep while my two year old got into as much trouble as she possibly could. I was at my wits end. They had all been up since 6:30am and my baby had only had 10min cat naps since. A total of two of these. He was tired and cranky. I was the same way. In fact, everyone was miserable. Even Mother Nature was putting her two cents in.

All I wanted to do was get my baby to sleep so I could do something for myself. I wanted to do some manual labour and and my soil plot prepped so that Friday (today) I could just put my cedars in the ground. It was gorgeous, what a perfect day. Then Hurricane A started with her stuff. I swear if I had her tell me she was hungry one more time I would have ripped my hair out from the roots. She screams like a banshee, keeping even the dead at bay. I truely believe they'd rather stay in their graves than listen to her shrill serenade. Everytime L would pass out she'd screech. Then in my haste not to hold him anymore for fear she'll wake him again, I try to put him in his bed, only for him to open his eyes and laugh at me. He wouldn't asleep because he was so overtired.

No one is co-operating with me. My heart starts to race, sending me into a panic as the sky turns an ominous black and the wind begins to pick up. I want that border in and the soil turned. A is into everything and telling me "no" at every turn. Finally, I've had all I can take from Hurricane A. It's naptime. I just get L to sleep and my mom and company come to the door. So frustrated at this point as I just got L to sleep for the fifth time today and he wasn't completely asleep. No he didn't stay asleep, he woke the moment he was moved. I was not impressed.

That was the last straw. It was all I could take. (In case you haven't noticed by now. Anything that goes off the path I had planned for the day sends me in to a chaotic tailspin and ruins my day) I was getting this yard done, and I didn't care how. My mom stayed inside, while "company" tried to help me. Then it started to rain and lightning. They wanted me to come inside. I would get hit by lightening. I looked sternly at them as said, "I'm not going to get hit by lightening. I'm not that lucky".

So there I was as everyone with a brain retreated inside. The crazy lady with a shovel hanging on to a metal fence digging holes furiously. I was getting that trim in no matter what. (They really couldn't say much, I came by my stubborness honestly. Every one of those adults in my home Thursday are just as stubborn, if not more so than I am.)

Garden Progress ~ Me: 1 Mother Nature: 0

Keeping things miserable and depressing ~ Me: 0 Mother Nature: 1

Just after I got the trim up to where I wanted. The heavens opened up and dumped a crap load of water on my head. I ran inside feeling a sense of success. I still don't recommend this to any sane person at all. Really don't let your children read this bit of stupidity on my part.

As for the end of the day. Well my teen let me have some time to myself and I got a cat nap. Rushed to get hubby from an appointment I forgot he had. Until he called me asking me where I was oops. The weather cleared. E stole the ball from the other team in soccer (he is pretty timid with this part of soccer), and ran down the field scoring a goal. WTG E! Another proud moment was picking up C from Cadets. My awesome kid got promoted to Master Corporal! Yep, mother nature and my bad day can officially kiss my arse. They've got nothing on the awesome that are my children. They outshine everything.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Why I'm So Glad I No Longer Work in Retail (except this is funny!)

Our XBOX is dying. This is a bad thing. Why? Because we are using Netflix on it. Why not the apple tv we have? Because that is going upstairs in our room so I can watch Netflix up there. Yes, I'm a greedy bitch. I need my Netflix streaming to me from the two rooms of my house that I use the most. My great room and my bedroom. Not really my fault. My husband introduced me to these advances in technology knowing my addiction to television.

Well, now our XBOX needs to update, without the update we cannot get on to xbox live. No xbox live no Netflix, no online gaming for the teen. Being completely selfish I'm more concerned about the no Netflix than I am about the online games.

(Writing this post Hubby is updating Netflix. Flipping through the movies, he says, "Prehistoric Breasts". Acting like this is normal, he moves on. I, being the dutiful wife correct him and say, "that says Prehistoric Beasts". Man life with this man is never dull and always sexually charged lol)

Anyhoo, it won't update, we keep getting Error code E66. Noooooo! The kids start complaining because they cannot access their games. This is also an annoyance. We need a new XBOX and fast.

We went a week without our XBOX live (regular games work), it sucked. Crankiness ensued. What? I work for a living too, I earned the right to be cranky over silly things like game consoles and no television. Tonight we came into money and decided to replace the XBOX. My hubby being the funny man he is wanted to shock the cashier as we were paying for it in cash. He was looking for shocking and witty. Well, not what he was going to say, but it worked. I wish I had a camera.

Cashier takes the XBOX and rings it in.

Hubby: "So, we can pay for this in pennies?"

Cashier's draw drops. Time stops. It is so quiet you can hear a pin drop.

Hubby: "I'm just kidding".

Cashier closes mouth and regains composure.

Why was this so funny? The person in line before us used a whole heck of a lot of change to pay for something and she spent at least five minutes counting it out. lol

(Disclaimer: I appologize if you didn't find this as funny as I do. I'm not a comedian and I really suck at telling jokes. ok, carry on.)
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