Monday, May 30, 2011

Hey You! Yeah You! That's MY Kid You Are Bullying! Wanna Try That Again?

There are many things I like to bitch about. Mostly things that irritate me. Which, if you live with me, or are friends with me you might think it's everything on this earth. It's not. Well maybe. Let's just say I "do sweat the small stuff". There are few things I HATE. I tend not to use that word as it's strong and meaningful. I have no issues saying I hate bully's and bullying. In my mind there is nothing more cowardice (besides using a weapon to fight, outside a real legit war), than bullying. Typically it's the person that feels the most craptastic about themselves that treat others like they are the shit under their shoes. There is also those catty "it girls" who have nothing better to do with their shallow lives. As well as those guys who want to impress their friends with what "big men" they are. Hey, jerkwad! Calling someone a name based on their ethnicity, weight, height, handicap, hair colour, et cetera doesn't make you a "man", it makes you a pathetic person.

For the last three years my son has been bullied on and off by his classmates. We have told him to ignore them, walk away, tell a teacher. The whole time I have wanted to teach him how to bash their useless heads in with his own two fists. Yes, back in the day, if I was bullied I'd do just that. Yes, I have. Maybe not all the time, but there were a few good ones. Was I a bully at one point, yes. Unfortunately, once you get bullied for too long you tend to dish it out later. We also all know what happens in the extreme cases of relentless bullying. Do I really need to bring up all the schools that were affected and people who were killed or maimed as I direct result? What's even scarier is now if you do get into a fight, you never know who is going to use something like a knife, gun, or other weapon instead of their fists.

Just this last Thursday my child got into a fight after school and was suspended for one day for fighting. This was the result of three years of bullying. The worst of it being in the last six months. One year it was about him being a red head. I remember him coming home four years ago saying that a teacher called him "Ginger". A teacher for goodness sake! I don't think he meant wrong by it, as even I thought there was nothing wrong with it. I had only heard it said once. A radio personality was gushing over a "ginger" hockey player. I thought it was a compliment until I did the research. Nothing more was said. Then, last year, people starting calling him "Ginger" again. He was starting to ignore it, and take pride in being a "Ginger", until these little shits started telling him with venom that he had no soul. Thank You South Park! Thank you stupid arse parents who allow your children to watch cartoons intended for an adult audience and not telling them that South Park is a television show that is NOT real. That in no way do you talk to people like that in real life. That this behaviour is disgusting and imoral and really does damage to people emotionally. It is NOT a joke.

What I don't understand is how parents think that they need to stop explaining certain things to their children once they hit a certain age. I think these parents need a class on how to parent or get "spayed/neutered" so they can never have children. I don't care if they look and sound like adults, they are still children. They need guidance. They watch shite like South Park and really think this is how the real world works. The ones that do know the difference have parents who ... wait, the ones that do know the difference have parents who wouldn't have to explain that South Park is fake because they wouldn't allow their child to watch it. Bringing us back to these parents need to take parenting classes, et cetera.

Finally, my son is ignoring the "no soul" comment. I have found a video today on youtube that is pretty funny and a really good way at looking at such a comment. Now, though, these same kids are calling him a cat. Yeah, stupid, if only they would stop there. They tell him he smells like a cat. (we don't own cats) They will meow at him. Taunting him. Not just in the classroom, but outside the classroom. This has been going on every day for at least six months. This is what has resulted in the fight. It came to blows, both the one student and my son were suspended on Friday. I was in the office with my teen and three children 5 and under to deal with it this morning.

I have found out that the class has been talked to twice since this started. That the teacher, substitute teacher and para in the room have all seen this happen and yet, nothing but "bullying is not nice", has been done. Back in the day, there were no three strikes you're out. You got once chance to be respectful otherwise you were out of the classroom until you could treat people with respect. They would be afraid to do anything after the first "talking to", and there would be no more issue. Why are the teachers not coming forward and going to the principal or vice-principal? Why do I tell my son to go to an authoritative person if nothing is happening to resolve the situation? Do I really need to be sitting in the class myself to ensure that these "big men/women" behave with respect and dignity towards my child? I have been assured that my child will no longer have to endure this crap anymore as they are talking to the class for a third time. I'm pretty glib about the whole situation and will believe it when I see it. If it doesn't change, I can guarantee everyone involved will be in for a whole heck of a lot of noise coming from this momma bear!

For those of you with teens, please ensure that they are not doing the bullying. Find ways to teach them how to treat people with respect. That these things have real consequences. That school shootings and the like can happen where they are. And please if you are going to let them watch things like South Park or any "Reality Television", take the time to make sure they know that this stuff is done for television ratings. No one on television gets hurt or insulted. No one is permanently scarred. That in the end it is all scripted and they don't talk like that in real life. A lot of the times, they don't need a class on how to spot a bully or not bully. A lot of times they are following their parental example, so watch what you say and how you act around your children. If what you do would embarrass you in front of your child or you wouldn't want them behaving that way. Then don't do it. Keep an eye on who they are friends with as well. A friends actions are a good indication of your child's behaviour when you are no where to be seen.

9 comments:

  1. Amen! Bullying seriously makes me sooo mad. When I went to school, girls would basically come to me to protect them from the bully's because I would NEVER let them pick on me. Yes, I got in a lot of fights but it was my way of dealing with it. I think so many teachers and schools and PARENTS want to turn a blind eye to the subject and that's exactly why it's as big of a problem as it is. I say Kudos to you and yours for standing up for yourselves and teaching that bullying is not acceptable!

    Oh my gosh - Can you tell how passionate I am about this subject? Geesh! : ) : ) XOXOXOXO

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  2. I would be livid too! I cannot believe that this is going on and no one is doing anything about it.
    Way to go mama, way to take care of the situation! It sounds like you are doing a remarkable job.
    I am so sorry that your son is going through this and pray that it stops immediately!

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  3. I would be just as angry. Bullying is not o.k. EVER!

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  4. Thank you for your heartfelt honesty! I love this line,

    "For those of you with teens, please ensure that they are not doing the bullying. Find ways to teach them how to treat people with respect. That these things have real consequences. "

    Collett

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  5. Oh, I so feel for your son. I hate bullies as well. I hope you all can find a solution soon.
    P.S. I use the word craptastic all the time!! Love it.
    Thanks for the follow, I'm returning the favor :)
    Looking forward to reading more of your posts as well.

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  6. I was a bully when I was younger. I use to pick on my older sister and tell her she was adopted, beat the hell out of all of my cousins, and tease most if not all of my classmates for one thing or another. I grew out of that phase around age 11 but as an adult I feel bad for doing and saying the things that I did. In fact I was so bent out of shape about how I acted as a child that when in middle school and in high school I stood up for anyone being bullied. I used my status as a psuedo popular person to stand up for anyone who was being outcasted.

    I hope the kids in your sons school come to realize that this is no way to treat others. Best of luck with the issue!

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  7. My grandson got bullied a lot because he was smaller than the others. For some reason that made him a target. It is disheartening to have to see it done to someone you love.
    I believe too that a lot of those bulling attitudes are learned from parents or by parents that don't pay attention to what their child is doing or who their friends are.
    We are face book buddies so I came over here to follow you on GFC as well.

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  8. Yey for being such a proactive Mum.
    Teaching your boy coping techniques, taking on the school's lack of intervention and encouraging others to think about whether or not their children are the cause of such soul destroying agony.
    My little girl was bullied in her early school years, it took six months to figure out what exactly was going on and I still believe if it hadn't been the teacher's own daughter reporting to her what was happening in the playground, nothing would have been dealt with. Our school are bringing in some new systems, because the ones they are using are completely useless atm. Fingers crossed!

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