Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Then My Uterus Fell Out

No, I won't put pictures of my uterus up. C'mon, give me more credit than that. I'm about the sarcastic funny factor not the make my readers puke factor. If you are a man though, that title would have killed ya, and I simply don't care as you helped make this happen. Well, not you personally for me. But I'm not counting you out for anyone else that you decided to impregnate multiple times.

For me, my Uterus was holding up just fine. Sure it wasn't as strong as it was in my younger years. But it did supply a beautiful home for three beautiful children. Then, my fourth. I think I was supposed to ask my Uterus permission before forcing it to house a foreign growing object. Why else would it decide to turn against me? But I didn't. After L joined us in the world and things down below started to heal and go back to their proper places, my Uterus decided it was time to up and drop out. Um, excuse me. I'm only 33 years old (gasp I revealed my age, life as we know it is over), my body isn't supposed to start failing me for another ten to fifteen years. You know, somewhere around the time of menopause. Darn it, did no one give my body this memo!

So how on earth do I know my Uterus fell out? I'm a woman and cancer (the *insert preferred expletive here*) runs in my family, I need to be aware of any change in, on and around my body. So of course I checked out with a mirror to see how things were healing. That and my kid was 11lbs 4oz at birth, all natural, no pain medication, I had to see the "damage". There was damage alright, there was a bulge where a bulge should not have been. To the computer! I knew what I was looking for as I had heard of it before. The suggestion to help is Kegels. Ladies, if you haven't done kegels before it probably won't do a lick of shit after the damage has been done.

Anyways, when I finally got in to see a doctor (3 months after my son was born), the doctor confirmed what I thought. I have a Prolapsed Uterus. It appears minor, although we are still to keep an eye on it. And until my doctor tells me my Uterus is only going to hit the floor and start doing a jig, I will continue deluding myself with Kegels.

(I lied. He was simply too cute not to post. You can find this cutie and other disturbing cuties at I Heart Guts)

10 comments:

  1. Umm wow! "Wow" for multiple reasons. 1.) 11lbs 4oz? That's insane. 2.) No pain meds with a baby that size? You are a God. 3.)I had no idea that a uterus could fall out.

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  2. lol Nicole J. Just to be clear, I had no idea I was even in labour until things were three minutes apart. I almost had this one at home. By the time I got to the hospital I was a 9 and they don't let you have pain meds by then. Also I'm of the lucky few my kids just walk on out. I laughed through my daughters labour.

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  3. Oh my, 11lbs 4oz & no pain meds! Way to go! Having a prolapsed uterus sounds painful! My mother in law had it and did physical therapy and that fixed it. I hope that this gets better soon!
    P.S. I shared my age too! {30}

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  4. O.M.G!!!!!!!!! That's one big baby! I can not EVEN imagine. I hadn't heard of the whole uterus falling out thing. Hmmm... I guess I better start doing my "exercises". Hoping for the best for you!

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  5. Holy moly mama are you ok? Prolapsed uterus sounds painful but I couldn't decide what sounded worse, that or the 11 lb all natural child birth...hmmm....
    Hope you're doing ok!!!

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  6. Prolapsed uterus sounds awful painful. Then again so does birthing an 11 pound child! Cute uterus though!

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  7. thats put me right off my banana on toast! and boo hoo to the sorry no pain meds your too far gone...i wanted to knife the last person to say that to me...ok babies head was out at the point i asked the ? but bloody hell it was hurting! 11lbs! OMG!!!!!!! i am amazed its only the uterus thats gone. lolxxxxx

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  8. Honey, that's amazing. That you did without pain meds is absolutely phenomenally gobsmacking. Hail the strong and beautiful lady as she kicks her uterus back into shape. (or Kegels it there...) ;)

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  9. I love that the uterus is not for children.

    Hope that the Kegels somehow, magically get that locked up tight.

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  10. Every time I watch the Diggers (19 kids and Counting) I wonder how the mom actually still Has a uterus! Sorry you had a prolapse; shouldn't happen until you've had at least 6, I think!

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