Sunday, March 20, 2011

Watch Your Child's Mouth!!! And Other Words

Yep, I'm a professed hater of people who cuss up a storm in front of my children. The worst offenders are those young "punks" in their nice cars with their vulgar "crap" music spewing while my kids are in the car as I'm filing up my gas tank. However, get me mad, and I am worse than any foul mouthed trucker you have ever heard. Terrible I know. Especially when you are trying to pass your toddlers off as angels and tell your thirteen year old that swearing makes a person sound unintelligent and not to do it.

Now I don't recall ever hearing my thirteen year old swear ever in his thirteen years. It doesn't mean he hasn't done it. (I'm not niave or live under a rock) Just that I have never heard him do it. My toddlers though, yikes!

My gorgeous E had the word s&*t down to a tee. The amazing thing is he would use it in the right context. It got bad though when he began to see our reaction and started saying it just to say it. Um, not a great thing when you are at church or introducing your children to other parents and their little ones. Finally, my MIL told us just to ignore it and it will go away. We did and sure enough, it was no longer fun and he moved on to something else.

My beautiful A is now catching on to mommy's angry slip ups. Her favourite word is the F-Bomb. The first time hearing it, of course you cannot help but laugh. It is unexpected and sounds pretty foreign. You try not to let her hear you laugh because you don't want it to become habit. Now, I must really watch my mouth even more. Hard as I have severe road rage. I am convinced that the majority of the people who drive NEED to learn how to SPEED. Then they would actually drive the speed limit. The idiots that do go over the speed limit NEED to learn the word SLOW and implement it. Then we'd have no need for road rage. Sounds simple enough to me. I just want people to drive the dang posted speed limit. It is really all I ask.

Anyways, I had been watching my mouth this past week and making sure that when I called out a frustration, that the F-Bomb or any other cuss words did not pass these lips. So when I yelled out Tool and encouraged my daughter to yell it with me as just something to yell, I was expecting her to stop when I was done and talking about something else. She instead pauses, says F&*). Tool! Yeah, Mommy needs to stop road rage all together I think.

So bad words by my own influence aside. There are times where I have no say in what comes out of my angels little mouths. I think it's a riot to hear what they come up with when they are learning the English language. Note to new mommies: I swear all children SHOULD come with a translator. However, that would kill the only entertainment you'll have for the next few years.


I don't remember specific words. He was pretty good at repetition. His understanding though was so funny. I was teaching him the proper word for "balls". He came to me and said, "Mommy, my penis has balls". My mom wanted me to teach him the "proper" word. So I tried to get him to say testicles. Well in his frustration he turned to me in a matter-of-fact tone and said, "No, I have Popsicles, Papa buys testicles". That had my mother and I in stitches.


*itch = bridge
cackle = castle
Letrachaun = Leprechaun
heby = heavy


Is like C and has a pretty good grasp on language. However, she speaks her own language as well. One time she apparently said something in Portuguese, unintentional of course.

heby = heavy
pincess = princess

There are more, however, true to mommy brain they have plumb fell out of my head. There will be more posts of crazy words as I remember them and new things come up. I can't wait to share :D


  1. Oh my goodness, kids crack me up. I especially like the popsicle confusion :)

  2. Oh my gosh this is SO funny!! I was raised by a bunch of sailors too, I guess I'm lucky Kaylin hasn't started using some of my most favorite words, lol. This post totally MADE MY DAY!

  3. I've got a horrible mouth on me. I amazingly turn it off when I'm in front of my dad and other people who are older then me. I just hope that when little man is born I can turn it off in front of him too.

  4. Ha ha ha, kids do say really funny things. I love hearing how they pronounce things :) They do seem to catch on to the funny ones awfully quickly!

  5. My son asked for 'cockporn' at the cinema recently. I hope he meant popcorn!!!
    I swore at a driver the other day. forgot my son was in the car. I told him it was a bad word and he should never say it (it was really bad!!!). Later with his dad he said a silly word like 'poo'. He was told not to say bad words. He said 'Why not? Mommy does'. He's 5!
    I love the language and logic of little kids!

  6. My son dropped something today and said, "Shit!" I didn't laugh and requested he not say that again. He said, "Ok. Poop!" I was astonished and couldn't help but crack up. I don't think he got the connection, but it was so funny to me!


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