Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Give Me Something To Talk About

Sorry everyone. It's been a while, and it will probably be a bit yet until I have something to "talk" about. Although I truly believe I babble more than I actually talk. You honestly don't want to know me in "real life" I'd sit here all day and talk your poor ear off. Although maybe you do, because occasionally I'm funny. Or obnoxious. Depending on what you consider funny. I'm a real nutter when I want to be and love the fact that I have children. They give me the excuse to talk to myself out loud and NOT sound like I'm completely certifiable. To climb play structures and NOT be ridiculed. At least until I prove I can no longer do a pull up. Hello, but when did I get too old to lift myself up on to the monkey bars? Probably about the same time any time after 10pm became too late to stay up.

I'm still feeling down after my aunt's passing. The funeral was on Monday. It was absolutely lovely. The remaining Aunts got up and sang, poems were read, songs were song and a video montage was viewed by all in attendance. My heart absolutely broke for my cousins. I'm holding my kids a little closer these days.

The day before the funeral we got more news of another family member passing of the same horrible disease. I am shell shocked to say the least. My heart is breaking for another family. My mind is a pile of reeling mush. I feel like I'm in quick sand. The hardest part is going to be my husband leaving me for two weeks to travel two provinces away to be with his family in their time of mourning. In a perfect world we'd be rich enough for the kids and I to go with him. This is clearly not a perfect world. So far every time he's had to be somewhere away from me for any period of time I'm a mess. Now I'm going to be a single mom of four for two weeks. Pale in comparison to wives of service men, but very hard just the same. My husband is the only man whose stuck around long enough to get through all the bullshit and get to know me. He loves me for me. I believe he's just as much off his rocker as I am. He's my rock, my sanity when the world appears insane. I'm my happiest when I am with him. During the days, the kids will occupy me, the nights will be the hardest. I cannot ask him to stay though. I would not want him to ask me to stay instead of going to be with my family.

Anyways, I'm just in an off place and may or may not be posting. The posts may be my normal attempt to be daily or I could be post less for the two weeks or longer. I'll be reading and responding to blogs when I can, trying to find a sunny place where I can. Looking at my children and finding something to laugh at. Although that isn't too hard. E is the funniest thing since "sliced bread". A has such a mischievous smile and an infectious laugh. L has the most darling smile and baby giggles ever. C is the most compassionate person and can be helpful when it truly is needed most. I know I'll be okay, I just hate being without the bestest friend and greatest gift from God I've ever had.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for all you and your family are going through. It's hard to be away from your husband. My husband and I work separate shifts and it is HARD. Sometimes I barely see him for an hour in a whole week.

    But maybe I can help put a smile on your face - I'd really love it if you came by and entered my giveaway for a $10 Mary Kay Giftcard and SatinHands Gift Set. :)

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  2. I am so very sorry for your losses. It is really hard when your hubby is away. I will be praying for you :)

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  3. Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I wish I had the perfect thing to say to make it all better. Hang in there, this will pass.

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  4. I'm sorry for your loss and the hardship right now. It's hard when your husband is gone. If you don't post, that's okay, you can read other blogs especially at night when it's hard, I find it helpful sometimes.

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  5. TY so much everyone for your kind words. Writing does help. I'm blessed to know that there are people out there praying and sending warm thoughts my way.

    @ Holly - I would have entered, but I'm allergic to most products that go on my skin. Thank you for your thoughts :D

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