Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Early Morning Mind Wanderers March 22 2011

I can't breathe.

It hurts.

Time keeps moving in and out

Like waves crashing over my mind.

I prayed for this

for the pain to end not the life

the life had to go so the pain could too.

God walks with her

I know this brings her peace.

It should bring me some,

instead it makes me numb.

Maybe if I focus on her life.

Maybe if I imagine what it's like to walk with God.

Maybe this, Maybe that

I feel sick

the bile rises to my throat

I feel angry

the scream bounces on the porous walls of my skull

"F U CANCER!!!"

"GAAAHHH"

Some tears have flowed

Others remain locked up tight in the drum of my heart

My soul tries to make sense of the senseless

I am NUMB

3 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you're feeling so down. Wish I could take your pain away for you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Hope you're ok!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that you are going through. Cancer is awful, simply awful. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete

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