Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Give Me Something To Talk About

Sorry everyone. It's been a while, and it will probably be a bit yet until I have something to "talk" about. Although I truly believe I babble more than I actually talk. You honestly don't want to know me in "real life" I'd sit here all day and talk your poor ear off. Although maybe you do, because occasionally I'm funny. Or obnoxious. Depending on what you consider funny. I'm a real nutter when I want to be and love the fact that I have children. They give me the excuse to talk to myself out loud and NOT sound like I'm completely certifiable. To climb play structures and NOT be ridiculed. At least until I prove I can no longer do a pull up. Hello, but when did I get too old to lift myself up on to the monkey bars? Probably about the same time any time after 10pm became too late to stay up.

I'm still feeling down after my aunt's passing. The funeral was on Monday. It was absolutely lovely. The remaining Aunts got up and sang, poems were read, songs were song and a video montage was viewed by all in attendance. My heart absolutely broke for my cousins. I'm holding my kids a little closer these days.

The day before the funeral we got more news of another family member passing of the same horrible disease. I am shell shocked to say the least. My heart is breaking for another family. My mind is a pile of reeling mush. I feel like I'm in quick sand. The hardest part is going to be my husband leaving me for two weeks to travel two provinces away to be with his family in their time of mourning. In a perfect world we'd be rich enough for the kids and I to go with him. This is clearly not a perfect world. So far every time he's had to be somewhere away from me for any period of time I'm a mess. Now I'm going to be a single mom of four for two weeks. Pale in comparison to wives of service men, but very hard just the same. My husband is the only man whose stuck around long enough to get through all the bullshit and get to know me. He loves me for me. I believe he's just as much off his rocker as I am. He's my rock, my sanity when the world appears insane. I'm my happiest when I am with him. During the days, the kids will occupy me, the nights will be the hardest. I cannot ask him to stay though. I would not want him to ask me to stay instead of going to be with my family.

Anyways, I'm just in an off place and may or may not be posting. The posts may be my normal attempt to be daily or I could be post less for the two weeks or longer. I'll be reading and responding to blogs when I can, trying to find a sunny place where I can. Looking at my children and finding something to laugh at. Although that isn't too hard. E is the funniest thing since "sliced bread". A has such a mischievous smile and an infectious laugh. L has the most darling smile and baby giggles ever. C is the most compassionate person and can be helpful when it truly is needed most. I know I'll be okay, I just hate being without the bestest friend and greatest gift from God I've ever had.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I Can Too Be Crafty

Yes, I am more than just another pretty face puffy eyed, caffeine toting, scruffy haired, sweat pant wearing mommy. I have a creative side, even if it has a time limit of whenever my children are not in a Battle Royal.

One of my older posts shows off my strong-willed nature when I want something bad enough, and it's crafty too. Check it out here.

One of my favourites was my homemade "baby gate". We moved to a new home and A just loved climbing up the stairs. Terrified of her falling and knocking herself silly I knew I needed a baby gate. One problem. I did NOT want the rubber pads on the baby gate to wreck the wood on my stairs. So, I resolved to find a way to keep my baby safe and not destroy one of my favourite things in our home.

We had a ton of boxes from moving and I had a whole box of material in my basement. It was given to me and seeing as I really don't sew I didn't know what I was going to do with it. Could I really make something out of cardboard and material? How would I keep it up? Yeah, I'm smart. It took a bit as I hand stitched the whole darn thing. But I did it.

I had black material and a lot of it. So I went with that. I cut out a panel of the large side of a box and covered that in the material. First I "measured" the material by putting it up against the stairs and figured out how long I needed it. When stitching in the cardboard I wanted to make sure it was as centered as possible, then I pinned it in all the way around, as close to the cardboard as possible. I didn't want the cardboard to move as it was much shorter than the length needed. The width was about 2 inches longer than I needed. Once that was all done I then stitched the open sides together. Now I needed to figure out how on earth I was going to get it to stay up. It didn't take long before I thought of the velcro.

It worked great. The beautiful wood didn't get wrecked and it kept my curious monkey from getting hurt. The extra two inches of material on the bottom gave off the illusion that the stiffness of the cardboard went further than it actually did. So my daughter never even thought of climbing underneath. She never touched the velcro either. Until much later when my 3.5 year old at the time, decided to show her how to get upstairs by undoing it.

Another thing you can do with this, that I never did get around to doing. Since it is in black and has the stiff cardboard inside I was thinking of making felt scenes and animals so they could play on it. I still have another one "coming up" here, so maybe I'll get around to that and have something else to show off :D

My Response to Your Passing

Well today has been one hell of a fog of a day.
The death of a loved one always hits hard. This one seems to be kicking me harder than "normal". I'm not sure if it's because it was due to the fact that my cousin now has lost two parents in the span of two years or it's because they both passed due to cancer. All I know is that I want to crawl under the blankets and never come back out. In this blanket cave (within which I dwelt for a few hours today), I thought a lot about people and death.

Old age. Between the ages of 8-16, I might even go as far as 25, sixty was ancient. Turning thirty was your death sentence. I was terrified of turning 30. I am now 32 and actually forget I'm that old until I am asked my age. Now at thirty -two, even 70 feels too young. When the hell did that happen?
My Dad is sixty! He doesn't look sixty. He still looks to me like he did ten years ago. My Grams is somewhere near 80. She does not look like I always envisioned eighty to be. Decrepit, nursing home, and no teeth. She still has her own home and does very well for herself. She is definitely related to my Great Grams, she lived to 100. Can you believe I even think 100 is too young? She was still a pretty mobile old lady and had all her wits about her. Her downfall, literally a fall that broke her hip. After that it was all downhill.

This "thing" has taken more lives and affected more lives in my family than I'd like to think about. It's disgusting. Maybe it's because I'm older and more aware of what is going around me, but I don't remember cancer being everywhere like it is today. Are we all more aware? Are there more cases? What happened to dying of old age? My husband asked if it was that we didn't know the cause and just said it was old age. He was trying to comfort, I told him I just wanted to believe more people died of old age than cancer or something else.

My Parents.

I spent my whole life fighting against them. Wanting to get as far away from them as I possibly could. Yet, I now call my Mom every day. Sometimes in the double digits. If my kids are screaming we facebook chat and text. My Dad and I don't always see eye to eye, but he's always there for me cheering me on. He's the extra help with my thirteen year old when I don't know what else to do. They both are my aids when I cannot possibly do it myself and my shoulders to cry on when my personal world falls in on me. It took us many years to get here.

With these deaths and thinking of age and my cousins loss. I cannot help but be afraid. What will I do when my parents pass? Who will I call when things fall apart? Who do I laugh with when my kids do some pretty silly things? Who do I tattle to when my sister makes me upset? Who do I go to advice when I want to fix whatever dumb thing I did or said to my sister when she made me upset? My husband, my sister, my cousins, and friends are great, but they are not my parents. My parents have known my flaws longer. They've fought my battles with, for and against me longer. Theirs are the voices of calming reason and compassion I know will be on the other line when I call. My cousin no longer has that. Maybe that is what is so hard. Knowing I have something she doesn't anymore. Knowing that my time is coming soon. Knowing that there is never enough time with anyone. Whether it's one day or one hundred years.

Today was time to cry, tomorrow is time to heal and move forward. Falling completely apart is not an option. I won't let it be.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Early Morning Mind Wanderers March 22 2011

I can't breathe.

It hurts.

Time keeps moving in and out

Like waves crashing over my mind.

I prayed for this

for the pain to end not the life

the life had to go so the pain could too.

God walks with her

I know this brings her peace.

It should bring me some,

instead it makes me numb.

Maybe if I focus on her life.

Maybe if I imagine what it's like to walk with God.

Maybe this, Maybe that

I feel sick

the bile rises to my throat

I feel angry

the scream bounces on the porous walls of my skull



Some tears have flowed

Others remain locked up tight in the drum of my heart

My soul tries to make sense of the senseless


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Watch Your Child's Mouth!!! And Other Words

Yep, I'm a professed hater of people who cuss up a storm in front of my children. The worst offenders are those young "punks" in their nice cars with their vulgar "crap" music spewing while my kids are in the car as I'm filing up my gas tank. However, get me mad, and I am worse than any foul mouthed trucker you have ever heard. Terrible I know. Especially when you are trying to pass your toddlers off as angels and tell your thirteen year old that swearing makes a person sound unintelligent and not to do it.

Now I don't recall ever hearing my thirteen year old swear ever in his thirteen years. It doesn't mean he hasn't done it. (I'm not niave or live under a rock) Just that I have never heard him do it. My toddlers though, yikes!

My gorgeous E had the word s&*t down to a tee. The amazing thing is he would use it in the right context. It got bad though when he began to see our reaction and started saying it just to say it. Um, not a great thing when you are at church or introducing your children to other parents and their little ones. Finally, my MIL told us just to ignore it and it will go away. We did and sure enough, it was no longer fun and he moved on to something else.

My beautiful A is now catching on to mommy's angry slip ups. Her favourite word is the F-Bomb. The first time hearing it, of course you cannot help but laugh. It is unexpected and sounds pretty foreign. You try not to let her hear you laugh because you don't want it to become habit. Now, I must really watch my mouth even more. Hard as I have severe road rage. I am convinced that the majority of the people who drive NEED to learn how to SPEED. Then they would actually drive the speed limit. The idiots that do go over the speed limit NEED to learn the word SLOW and implement it. Then we'd have no need for road rage. Sounds simple enough to me. I just want people to drive the dang posted speed limit. It is really all I ask.

Anyways, I had been watching my mouth this past week and making sure that when I called out a frustration, that the F-Bomb or any other cuss words did not pass these lips. So when I yelled out Tool and encouraged my daughter to yell it with me as just something to yell, I was expecting her to stop when I was done and talking about something else. She instead pauses, says F&*). Tool! Yeah, Mommy needs to stop road rage all together I think.

So bad words by my own influence aside. There are times where I have no say in what comes out of my angels little mouths. I think it's a riot to hear what they come up with when they are learning the English language. Note to new mommies: I swear all children SHOULD come with a translator. However, that would kill the only entertainment you'll have for the next few years.


I don't remember specific words. He was pretty good at repetition. His understanding though was so funny. I was teaching him the proper word for "balls". He came to me and said, "Mommy, my penis has balls". My mom wanted me to teach him the "proper" word. So I tried to get him to say testicles. Well in his frustration he turned to me in a matter-of-fact tone and said, "No, I have Popsicles, Papa buys testicles". That had my mother and I in stitches.


*itch = bridge
cackle = castle
Letrachaun = Leprechaun
heby = heavy


Is like C and has a pretty good grasp on language. However, she speaks her own language as well. One time she apparently said something in Portuguese, unintentional of course.

heby = heavy
pincess = princess

There are more, however, true to mommy brain they have plumb fell out of my head. There will be more posts of crazy words as I remember them and new things come up. I can't wait to share :D

Almighty Letrachaun

Definition: Letrachaun ~ A Leprechaun, but oh so much better.

Sneaking ones these Letrachaun's are. I could only catch the tops of their heads before they transformed before my very eyes.

Since I took the time to catch them on "film", I missed their pot o' gold. Boo :( Maybe next year :D

Friday, March 18, 2011

One Proud Mamma: A Grade 8 Parent/Teacher Conference

This is awarded to my eldest son C. It was the first Parent/Teacher meeting we've gone to where we didn't spend approximately forty-five minutes telling him what he is doing wrong and what he needs to improve on. Where he's disorganized and what we were going to do to "fix" it. Discussions about his absences, chronic lates, being bullied, not getting along with any of his peers, and so on. No asking why he doesn't have his portfolio of his work to show us.

This term (term 2), was the first term that I can remember that he seemed to just turn things around. The stars aligned and all was good with the world. Well with C's world. We all know when a child turns 13 and the hormones start brewing full steam they begin sharing the one "spare" brain cell with their group of friends. This means you spend a lot of time staring at your child with a blank expression, all the while asking yourself, "my kid can't really be that stupid, can he/she?". The period of time where you give up getting angry over them doing a crappy job on their chores, if they do them at all, and just help them out or do it all yourself. Trust me, it's less stressful on you this way. C surprised me and had his teacher close to tears. She said and I quote,"I need to stop this here before I cry". She was that proud of his improvement.

He has improved so much. He is taking responsibility for things. Today he was away from school because he needed to see the orthodontist for a consult, and then a trip to the optometrist. Yet, while I was in the car nursing L, he snuck inside to put the last bit of his portfolio together to show of his work. His success, his not so successful work and what he wants to improve. Three months ago he never would have done that. C would not have cared and just sat there while we told him what was wrong with him. (three months ago, that portfolio was "lost" under his bed). He is seeing that if he slows down that his work is much better. The "connect" between what he sees is going on and what his teacher sees is becoming more cohesive. His peers at his table are starting to ask him for help and seeing him as part of the group instead of an annoyance. The teacher said he is starting to hold his own. He is starting to complete his work, show effort. She is seeing that he understands his work, just not taking the time to slow down and show that he understands. She is seeing that he is starting to notice this as well and trying to take the time to slow down and show her he understands. He is also beginning to ask for help a lot more. I have also noticed that there are less complaints about being "bullied" and kids "hating" him when he comes home. He's talking more about things at the dinner table. This is all coinciding with his promotion at Cadets. He's taking on more of a leadership role there as well.

I needed to laugh because he was so embarrassed over the praise we were all giving him. Both his teacher and I said that this was the dream parent/teacher meeting. It was mostly praises and it was all of ten minutes in total. We of course told him not to let it go to his head. Not to stop improving, but instead to keep going onward like he was as it would improve his successes in the future.

I am so so proud of my boy. My only regret was that my husband wasn't there to revel in the praises over our son with me.

Here's to you C.

Keep up the Awesomeness!!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

She's My Hero pt. 2

~*~*~If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine ~*~*~


How true that statement is. I love my sister. There is none other like her. Truly no one else could drive me up a wall better than my sister. That is why I can't go long without wondering how she is, what she is up to, et cetera.

I didn't always think I loved my sister. Of course I lived my whole childhood with a severe case of sibling rivalry. I used to tell her she was adopted just to hear her run screaming to our mom crying. For a while she believed me. She was my gullible sister that would do pretty much anything I told her to. Like roll down the basement stairs and "I'll come down behind you. I promise". I never did follow, I wasn't getting hurt. One day I was mad at her and cut her ponytail off right above the elastic. Boy did I get in some decent trouble for that one. I could be one mean bean of a sister, but I missed her when she wasn't there for too long. I was pretty jealous of her. She could do no wrong and I was always in some sort of trouble. Turns out she felt the same way. Who knew.

~*~*~Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled. ~Jane Mersky Leder ~*~*~

My sister knows how to push my buttons, and I hers. It's taken many years, but we have finally come to terms that we are just two different people. From the things we believe in to the way we raise our children. We are who we are with all our idiosyncrasies. We can't change each other and bucking it won't make a difference, instead we have learned acceptance and tolerance. We can resort back to old ways, and we do, however, now we are able to come back and forgive much quicker. (We once went over a year without speaking)

~*~*~A sister smiles when one tells one's stories - for she knows where the decoration has been added. ~Chris Montaigne ~*~*~

We have been known to spend hours talking, making sheer none-sense, sharing intense belly laughs while our husbands look at us like we're a couple of nutters.

So why exactly is my sister my hero? She is a serious Supermom. It may not have been by choice for some things, but it's who she is none the less. She was always the one to help my mom out when we were kids, definitely picking up my slack. She held down a job at 17. I held down the right to run away several times and be a total PITA. She was a single mom for a while and then married life came her way along with a total of three more children. While she was a single mom she worked. In fact, she has worked on and off through the years. It's been harder the last few years as her youngest was born with CAH . Because she does need to be with her daughter at a moments notice having a regular job is next to impossible. Regardless of the many hospital visits (recent trip to Toronto for surgery for her daughter), she is a fantastic SAHM. She has learned how to cook incredible Italian dishes from her mother-in-law. She bakes and does the craftiest things with her children. She is a soccer mom and a drama-mama (her second takes acting classes). She pulls many all nighters with her youngest, yet still offers to take my two toddlers off my hands so I can get a break. If she could have a regular job, she'd do that plus all of this. She has energy I only dream of. She also has laundry half-folded in her living room. Her kitchen is often an array of dirty dishes from her children and her crazy need to cook from scratch every dinner. Her bed is sometimes made. Yet she isn't frazzled by this at all. She takes it in stride and keeps moving, enjoying her kids and giving them her all.

I used to frown on her homely duties because I was so perfect you see with my clean home and perfectly folded and put away laundry. Now, I am calling her asking her how on earth she does it all and has not admitted herself yet. I also think to myself when I look at the pile of laundry sitting in my living room, the dishes piled on the counter, and toys strewn on the floor, "I've turned into my sister". I guess a little of her has rubbed off on me these last few years. (Wish it was the energy and not the messy parts)

So here's to My Hero .... My Sister.


~*~*~Sister to sister we will always be,
A couple of nuts off the family tree.
~Author Unknown ~*~*~

Oh yeah. Don't mess with my sister, cause you'll have me to deal with. You don't want to deal with me. Ask her. She'll tell you.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

She's My Hero pt. 1

I'm NOT her. I never will be. Part of me would love to attain such status. The other part says not in this lifetime. It truly is chaotic and overwhelming to be everything that the original feminists appeared to want for us. Now I'm all for equality for women and people in general, however, I am now noticing a trend that I don't necessarily like. Sure, women can vote and voice their opinions, all good things. Yet now with us "allowed" to work, our roles as SAHM's (Stay At Home Moms) is looked down upon. (SAHD's, I feel bad for how your looked at, I've heard the comments) If you are a mom that is admitting she wants to work and NOT stay at home with her children, well down with you too! A woman now has a "New Role".
This means that she must be like "Missy Miss" above, raise a family, take care of the home and now hold down a job. The more time consuming job the better. If she isn't taking in almost as much as her husband than she just isn't contributing. But don't be a total bread winner because then you are emasculating your significant other. (His opinion on this doesn't matter so shush) Let's not forget that if there are children involved the simple solution is to stick them in a daycare and let someone else experience each and every first. Nope, I am not liking this 1)because I believe the job of a mother is the hardest job anyone could possibly do (I consider my work days a vacation). 2)even if I wanted to be I don't do "Domestic Goddess" well. 3)I don't want to work full time and not have anytime to myself or watch my children grow. 4)While I enjoy a little self abuse (I have four children and wanted four sets of twins remember), I don't enjoy self abuse that includes sleep deprivation. (if you don't believe me read my last post point #6 I believe) So through all that I have found I am neither of the extremes. I am not June Cleaver, and I am not Super Mom. I'm somewhere in the middle. I want the vision that the feminists had, but I want the choice to decide what part of the vision I want instead of being judged by who else. Other women.

It is sad really. Why on earth do we do this to each other? What is it to another woman if I have children and work? Or if I'm a "Kept" woman (My SO works and I stay at home to raise the kids)? What is it to another woman if I'm at home and bake pies all day or teach my children to be little geniuses? (BTW I am by no means patient enough to teach my children, that is why I don't home school. Bowing down to homeschooling mom's now.) What is it to another woman if I chose to work a full time job while my husband becomes a SAHD? (I don't understand why this is done, but it's not my place to judge what works for another family. On that note I think my husband would be a phenomenal SAHD) What is it to another woman if I nurse or use formula? The list literally goes on.

Prior to my fourth child I had my own perceptions of motherhood. I did it all (okay I still didn't live up to June Cleaver), but I did take care of kids and work. My job is being home with my kids during the week and working awake overnights at my job on the weekends. My husband and I sacrifice seeing each other so we can raise our children. This is not by choice. Unfortunately, the direction things are going, the life of a one income family is just a pipe dream. So I was truly a Supermom. I had it all together and my house and children were pristine. I was also able to train for 5k's, 10k's and half marathons. Then comes L and it all blew up in my face. Supermom became Super Frazzled. I cannot keep up and I'm on maternity leave. I don't have a job to go to, I have all this time during the day. I should be teaching my kids and doing crafts. I should be June Cleaver. My laundry shouldn't be half folded in the living room. Okay, there are a lot of should's and should not's here. (Stopping long list here to spare you the boredom).

This is not the person Mom I thought I'd end up being. The one that looks like she needs about 10 cups of caffeine and an extended vacation alone on a deserted island. Yet, I get the "poor you" looks daily. (could be why I now try living like a recluse when the family allows it). This is a good place to be at though, it's a humbling place. My Supermom snobbishness has been put in it's place. It took a fourth child and a high energy daughter to break me, but I'm here, and I'm sorry for my judgmental ways. Here's a cheers to my hero!!

(You'll meet her in my next posting)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Craptacular Turned Spectacular

I had one hell of a craptacular day on Thursday. It was crazy!!!!! I've been getting up at 6:15am in order to drive hubby to work, and then drive home to begin my busy day. Thursdays are usually my quiet days, but occasionally I end up with a doozy. I had to take the baby (L) to his three month appointment. It was a good one, he gained 2lbs in one month! Bringing him to a grand total of 17lbs 2oz. I knew there was a reason I can barely carry him and the car seat anymore. He is doing much better now that his tongue has been clipped. So, that alone meant we were going to be home late for lunch. Then I decided to visit my grams as one of her sisters was in and hadn't seen L yet. We ate lunch at my grams. The late lunch, busy morning into afternoon meant a meltdown for all three children. They had a short nap, but still managed to melt down for the rest of the day. Took C to Cadets, A and L came along for the ride. Came home and put A and E to bed. An hour later I picked up C from Cadets. I came home and A was still up (9:30pm). Her room has her mattress moved behind the door, her room a mess and a twenty dollar bill torn up on her floor!!! Then as I'm trying to get her back into bed after I fed her yet again (The kid has a hollow leg and spends all day telling me she's hungry), she starts literally running circles around me and laughing. I fought her into bed and ended up downstairs with L who decided it was play time. By 11pm I was so exhausted, but checked my blog for stats and comments and that is when my migraine induced day went from Craptacular to Spectacular!!!

Miss Katherine from An Irish-Italian Blessing left two comments, the latter telling me I won the Stylish Blogger Award. Now I have seen these types of awards on other peoples blogs and never thought in a million years that I would obtain one. I really feel honored. 1)that anyone would care enough to read about my little corner of insanity 2)that they would read it and admit it to others by awarding me such a thing. Honestly, it made my day. Hormonal me (I'm still nursing and only 3 months in back off lol) started bawling. My hubby looked at me like I was nuts until I explained and he thought that it was pretty awesome. Now, I must pass such awesomeness on :D

Thank you so much to Katherine. I strolled past her blog on blog frog and thought to myself, "self, anyone with a baby as cute as that deserves to be stalked." I'm glad I listened to myself. The coolest thing is that she has a tab of her bucket list! I might be weird, but I think it's cool. I keep reading her blog every day because she's funny and I love it when A points to the screen and says "Baby".

Okay, now on to the rules. Yes my friends, there are rules, which makes this post longer. Good thing I'm great at being long winded :D (suckers :P)

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded this to you.
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award blogs you have recently discovered. (Apparently the original rules give the number 15. While it's awesome to aim high, with four children I'm remaining realistic and say if you can do 15 cool, if not pick a number more than five that you can do)
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

Seven Things About Me

1. I wanted four sets of twins

2. I was a single mom for five years. C changed my life. I went back to school, got my grade 12 and started to change myself for the better, because I wanted a better life for him than where I was at. (I still wanted twins)

3. I wanted to be a singer. I always said if that didn't work out I wanted to be a mom.

4. My not so secret daytime television obsession is Days of Our Lives. My Great Grandma introduced me to this when I was about 8 years old. I have been watching it on and off since then. Now I watch daily and get really angry when my pvr messes up and misses recording a day. (for some reason its only Fridays episodes) I don't know what I'll do with myself if they ever take it off the air as it's the only soap I watch.

5. I still like watching some teen shows like Degrassi and Pretty Little Liars.

6. I like to sleep. A LOT. Sleep is my best friend. While I know I should be relishing this time with my children, part of me cannot wait until they are old enough to let me sleep in. (I no longer want twins, never mind four sets)

7. I am lucky enough to have a job I enjoy. I only discovered it last year, but it is really something I have wanted to do for years. I feel blessed to be friends with the person who told me about the job and encouraged me to apply.

Now here comes the hard part. You want to give it to everyone, but you can't. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but you have to. I would never be a good judge. I'm too worried about what others will think. Okay, pushing guilt aside, let's do this.

Twins Plus One, Three Times The Fun must I explain? I started stalking her because I am still interested in mommy's who have twins. Still jealous that I didn't have twins, however, with my own four I know God knew what he was doing denying my prayers for twins. So I am now living vicariously through Miss Holly. :D

Comfort Doll Project I found Brenda's site through two other sites. I was struck by the picture of a comfort doll and wanted to know what it was. My search ended up on this blogs doorstep. It touched my heart. It's something I would love to do. I now read her blog every day.

Educated Abroad I'll admit it. I don't know many stay at home Dads. Okay, I don't know any at all. I've seen them, but I have never actually interacted with any of them. I've just sat back in awe. Well when this father joined my blog frog community I had to check out his blog. I have been hooked ever since. Here is a
fresh perspective on the trials of parenthood. Somehow Dad's see things differently. It's the same, yet somehow different. Love it!

Household 6 Diva I am very interested in those that stay home while their men/women go out and serve their country. I have a friends and family affiliated with the army. I read this blog because she shows strength while her loved one is away.

Momesticated a mom blogging about her amazing craftiness. I love checking out her corner of blogland and seeing what she has created.

Stranger In A Strange Land Hahahaha. What more can I say? The wittiness keeps me coming back for more. I'm so glad I stumbled across this blog.

Fireworks Sparkle Rainbow Honest, raw emotion. A young woman blogging about her struggles and pushing forward to live the best life she can live.

"Love is a Journey" another moving to the U.S. blog with tales spoken with perfected wit.

The Widow Lady Grief is something that greets us all at some point in our lives. This blogger is finding the way through her own by helping others. Incredible strength and insight.

Now get to visiting each of these blogs!!! Following them is your choice of course, but check them out and see if you find something new :) Pay the traffic forward :D

For the people who has received the Award, all you have to do is copy and paste the picture.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Pass Me The Vodka / Ode To Vodka

Ode To Vodka

Oh Vodka how I do LOVE thee, Let me count the reasons

I feel the burn as you brush by my lips and slide down my throat.. tasty

You've got the "impractical" bling I dream of having

You can disguise yourself as an energy drink. No more paper bagging it for me, I'm letting it all hang out!!!

If my alcoholic friend comes over and I don't want to share, I can hide you among my DVD's and the friend would be none the wiser.

Another ingenious look. I can stash these with the doggy shampoo and sneak a "sippy" while I hide from my children for a breather. Oh wait, we don't have a dog. Oh well I gave an alcoholic dog owner a swell idea. They can thank me later.

You are multi-cultural. Your "colours" are very PC. No boycotting from me.

Last but not least you have an incredible sense of humor and show your fun side. I don't need to taste your burn to mess with my mind on this one.

Oh Vodka how I do LOVE thee, these were only some of the reasons.

Pass me the Vodka!!

Pass me the Vodka...It's only 8 am and the toddlers are fighting over L.

Pass me the Vodka...L is fighting being a near three month old without the ability to move as he pleases.

Pass me the Vodka...C is not happy he has to put down his computer to go to school.

Pass me the Vodka...Hubby is not happy he is confined to his room due to minor surgery that has him "taking it easy" for at least two weeks. He's currently working from the bedroom.

Pass me the Vodka...I get to sleep on a blanket on the livingroom floor with L during Hubby's confinement. It's hard and I'm convinced due to current events it contributes to memory loss.

Pass me the Vodka...A keeps hitting everyone and everything because she isn't getting her way.

Pass me the Vodka...E is trying to catapult L out of his bouncy chair exclaiming, "You are flying!"

Pass me the Vodka...13 year olds suddenly forget how to clean, that they are NOT the parent, and many other offenses.

Pass me the Vodka...I irrationally still pay said 13 year old for chores I am doing or redoing.

Pass me the Vodka...because I'm the mommy and my work is 24/7/365

Pass me the Vodka...I don't like wine. (please note the wine didn't like me first)

Pass me the Vodka...without it my children end up looking like this


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Nelly Get Out Of My House!!!

I have to say at least it isn't Justin Beiber. Sorry Justin, but you are just too much media hype for someone so young who hasn't lived long enough to be putting out a biographical book, much less a movie about your life. So I'm thankful that my children don't have "Beiber Fever".

At this point in time though my son has "Nelly Fever". I didn't mind his "Black Eyed Peas Fever", at least there was more than one song he'd listen to over and over again. It is so cute to hear him burst into song, "Gotta Get Get", insisting to his older brother that it is "his song" and no one else could sing along. Got that Will I Am and Fergie? My four year old currently holds the rights to your songs and music because he says so. I love that he loves music and loves to move and groove to the beat. I loved it when he was smaller and sang, "It's Bananas, B A N A N A Bananas" or shouted out "So What I'm a Rockstar!". Yes, Pink and Gwen we love you too! (sorry no "wheels on the bus" in this house, that's what Preschool is for). Now, after three days of "Move That Body" by Nelly ft. T. Pain and Akon on continual repeat I wish my preschooler had a little more "Twinkle Little Star" in his life. So no offense Nelly, I like your music and all, but it's time to get out of my house. Just until I stop singing the song in my sleep at least.

For your viewing entertainment:

Early Morning Mind Wanderers March 6 2011

I have chosen to be here.
amongst you.

I have chosen to believe.
in something.

sometimes anything.

I walk alone
forwarding my thoughts through email

to the masses I await their truth
because I cannot face my own

I burst out with emotion

I move forward blindly
both fists flailing

I wish to touch something

anything but myself.

I hurt, I'm broken.
I'll wait for you.

Push myself aside.
Push you plus 4 to the forefront.

My choice

My ChoIce


only because I'm afraid to put me first.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Conversations with L

L is just shy of being three months old so what could he possibly have to say? Honestly, I'm not sure. I cannot understand one word that comes out of that little guy. Yet, apparently he has a lot to tell me.

I have to say that I love nursing. Okay truthfully it's a love/hate relationship, but I'm still doing it so it has to be more love than hate. At least that's what I tell myself when I realize that he still nurses every two hours and is stuck like velcro to me all night long.

It started out rough, like all of my kids. However, I'm into self punishment so I continued to push through months of thrush and other pitfalls to give my children "liquid gold". Don't think I have anything against mothers who use formula. If someone puts that crap into my mouth I will slap them silly. I formula fed my first and my second because of different issues for both. I was only able to successfully nurse my daughter for thirteen months. Not because I wanted to either. The very strong-willed A would rather starve than eat formula. So even though I was done at six months, she was not.

So back to L. Our nursing experience up to this point has been less than stellar. I wanted to stop already with the trouble we were having. I'll admit that I should have listened to that one health nurse when she said that he wasn't latched properly. Hind sight is twenty/twenty and our personalities clashed so I wasn't listening. (Bad Mommy Know-It-All) He was having trouble eating from a bottle as well. We went through several. Finally when he got the bottle working somewhat, the formula made his tummy sore. You could actually hear his stomach get upset from it. So after two weeks, I said forget this, I'll put up with the pain as long as he wasn't sore. In this time my grams mentioned tongue-tie. So I did research and our issues fit the bill. I went to my doctor because now, unlike when I was a babe, you need to jump through hoops to get anything done. His pediatrician didn't see a problem, but was willing to keep an eye on things. (See he's a good pediatrician, and he listens and I like that). In the meantime my In-Laws were doing investigatory work of their own. I was given names and numbers by someone from La Leche League that my Father In-Law knows. Did I mention I love the La Leche League? Very informative group of people on breastfeeding. Anyways, I called one of the numbers and got in to see a dentist. He saw what I was talking about and did the procedure. Like night and day I tell you. There is a relearning curve on his end, but wow what a difference. I have never been so happy to be puked on by a baby in my life. (he's full now that he's getting more food)

At this very moment I am anxiously waiting him to wake up to nurse some more. You see for the last week he's been doing this thing where he will look at me when he nurses. Make perfect eye contact. Then he'll nod his head and raise his little eyebrows. His mouth turns up a bit mischievously. He gives a "goo" and then pulls away from me to give me the biggest smile he can possible give. Than babbles and nods his head some more. Whole conversations. We "coo", "goo" and nod back and forth to each other. I loved these moments but wanted to by-pass them just so we could get the uncomfortable and sometimes painful nursing session over with. Now, I'll be able to just be in them and finally enjoy these fleeting Conversations with L.
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